


Twelve Days of Christmas (Ho-Ho-Homeland Remix)

by HomemadeLemonade



Category: Homeland
Genre: Advent Calendar 2016, F/M, Non-traditional gift giving ;-)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 16:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8585425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomemadeLemonade/pseuds/HomemadeLemonade
Summary: A tongue-in-cheek reimagining of the popular cumulative song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas".Advent Calendar fic for 15 December 2016, as per the LJ prompt by the forever fantastic FrangipaniFlower ♥





	

**Author's Note:**

> It's probably not surprising given our shared love of many songs and artists that Bwg and I independently decided to parody the same song for Advent. We discovered this weeks ago while chatting and were both happy to proceed anyway. 
> 
> Bwg, thanks for our chats and laughs - this one's for you ♥
> 
>  
> 
> *ahem* OK Ladies, all together now...

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
A bullet in the upper left arm

On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
Two homicide confessions  
And a bullet in the upper left arm

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
Three strong hugs*  
Two homicide confessions  
And a bullet in the upper left arm

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
Four smears of his blood  
Three strong hugs  
Two homicide confessions  
And a bullet in the upper left arm

On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
Five heartfelt "Fuck me's!"  
Four smears of his blood  
Three strong hugs  
Two homicide confessions  
And a bullet in the upper left arm

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
Six steaming coffees  
Five heartfelt "Fuck me's!"  
Four smears of his blood  
Three strong hugs  
Two homicide confessions  
And a bullet in the upper left arm

On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
Seven loaded silences  
Six steaming coffees  
Five heartfelt "Fuck me's!"  
Four smears of his blood  
Three strong hugs  
Two homicide confessions  
And a bullet in the upper left arm

On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
Eight longing glances  
Seven loaded silences  
Six steaming coffees  
Five heartfelt "Fuck me's!"  
Four smears of his blood  
Three strong hugs  
Two homicide confessions  
And a bullet in the upper left arm

On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
Nine score words of love  
Eight longing glances  
Seven loaded silences  
Six steaming coffees  
Five heartfelt "Fuck me's!"  
Four smears of his blood  
Three strong hugs  
Two homicide confessions  
And a bullet in the upper left arm

On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
Ten shy, dimpled smiles  
Nine score words of love  
Eight longing glances  
Seven loaded silences  
Six steaming coffees  
Five heartfelt "Fuck me's!"  
Four smears of his blood  
Three strong hugs  
Two homicide confessions  
And a bullet in the upper left arm

On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
Eleven tender touches  
Ten shy, dimpled smiles  
Nine score words of love  
Eight longing glances  
Seven loaded silences  
Six steaming coffees  
Five heartfelt "Fuck me's!"  
Four smears of his blood  
Three strong hugs  
Two homicide confessions  
And a bullet in the upper left arm

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me  
Twelve seconds' soulful kissing  
Eleven tender touches  
Ten shy, dimpled smiles  
Nine score words of love  
Eight longing glances  
Seven loaded silences  
Six steaming coffees  
Five heartfelt "Fuck me's!"  
Four smears of his blood  
Three strong hugs  
Two homicide confessions  
And a bullet in the upper left aaaarm!

**Author's Note:**

> * Oh alright, one of the hugs was technically a choke-hold! Motherfucker!
> 
> ;-)


End file.
